The Apoc-Beast

My brother is currently working on a short film project and had asked me if I could draw him a beast for a background. The idea for the beast... well actually, let me start with his short film premise, it's about the apocalypse and a girl does some looting on a poor dead dude who just baught it from some crazy zombie. The short ends with a "Road Warrior" shot with the girl just looking at the camera as it pulls.. or was it pushes away? well, whatever the cameras doing in the back round you would see two things: a giant destroyed radar dish and the ancient remains of some super creature! pretty neat, right? right.

Ive done the super beast first.

By the way my brother has yet to receive his film from the development lab in LA.
So my beast has no home except for a white backdrop...

Ingredients: Photoshop, Nigersaurus bones photo, ram horns photo, dunkleosteus skull photo.
stir until simmers, serve over 16mm film.

The Fly

No not the movie from the 80's, rather a disgusting hairy fly that woke me up at the crack of noon.
It kept banging up against the friggin window, pretty hard too sounded like some one was tapping at the window... which is why I woke up in the first place, duh. I've had compacted arse full of flies thanks to my summer trips to Mexico. Anywho to make a long story short - because of my extreme level of unemployment I put the fly in a dixie cup and then positioned him/her right in front of my left PC speaker and then played him... or her good doses of rock music... and maybe some Balkan beats too.

Well surprise! I woke up this morning to find him dead under the cup. huh, wow. I guess flies do live for only 24 hours.

man I need work.

Cheers.

The Lizard

Last Saturday afternoon was a very important time for me, it was a time for me to shed my claustrophobic cabin fever ridden clothing and get into some nice slacks and a swanky dress shirt. There was a Wedding at 1, but I let my mother run over to that, women find that whole part very amusing. Men like me( for the most part) don't. I'll Tell what I was looking forward to though... the reception. Oh yes. Lots of good food. Lots of beer. Lots of good Family (especially cute cousins).

So as I check out my self out in the mirror for the 28Th time I hear my cat Meché howling, not meowing, but more of a howl... If I could call it that - if a cat could howl it would have sounded like that. So I head on over to her with the intention to shut her up- perhaps with a swift yet gentle kick to the bum. But I soon discover that that she had caught her self a critter right beside the brick steps. I couldn't tell what "it" was. The poor thing had lodged itself under this old soccer ball that my dog Gia had been ferociously trying to rip apart. I grabbed one of them garbage-picker-uppers. I'm not what their called, but it's that aluminum pole with a plastic handle and trigger at one end then at the other it sports a very scary looking claw, the city usually arms jailed cholos with them along side of the highways. Well either way I use that to move the ball over, oh by the way, I used that aluminum claw not because I was scared of the thing but I didn't want to get myself cover in cobwebs and other nasty things that would harsh my dandy attire.

I moved the ball, there lying in the dirt impression was a little lizard. It didn't move it didn't even flinch it just stared up at me with it's little gold reptilian eyes. I shooed away the cats (by now most our cats had crowded around to see what Meché was... howling about). i use the garbage grabber to bring the little guy over to me. I put him in my hand and he seemed relieved to be away from the cat. He looked directly at me with his wedge shaped head and then put it back on my palm. Don't worry little dude. I put him a plastic container with bedding and a warming rock (the rock was from a previous reptilian pet from the 90's).

The notion to keep him or her as a pet briefly crossed my mind, so I Googled him to see what kind of lizard he was.

Search: Lizards native California San Jose

I soon discover it's an Alligator Lizard. Okay that's cool but what as a pet?

Search: Alligator Lizard Pet

Alright, I find out that this lizard makes a pretty good pet, BUT, the care for it is astonishingly complicated and expensive. Sorry lizard, no can do. It didn't really matter to me because By now I was feeling pretty sad for it. He just kept looking at me with such a sad look of empathy as if saying "that's great you saved me from the cat but now you want me as a pet haven't I endured enough?"

So a day later (it was raining most of Sunday so I decided to cut him loose on a more sunny day) I released him to the wild and by "the wild" I mean near our shed. I don't know but every time I come across lizards in San Jose they always seem to be near sheds, what gives? Anywho the poor little guy seemed pretty happy to be free again (I made sure there were no cats or dogs around). He just timidly crawled out of the plastic box on to the fence and just stared at me as I walked away. I came back later to see if I could spot him around. Nope. As if anyways right? Like that thing would be happy to see me like some dog waiting for it's master to come home from work. Well it would have been nice.
Cheers.

My Feet are cold.

Well here I am. According to my cousin just four days shy of one year. One year of meaningless and jobless stupidity.